i am conviced that some things can never be solved.

i was haunted by those dark years when the financial problems in my house caused my mum to very easily agitated. probably pumped up by menopausal syndromes i think. (in confidence that shes not reading this. ha) my mum used to talk to me like i was my dad tho she did not curse at me directly.

today, probably 5 yrs after those, i got a call from my mum asking for my dad's number. odd. she never asked for his number all 22 yrs of my life. she knew it at some stage and would rather die than knowing it at another. odd. apparently she's told to pay a bid sum of money that the usual company owes due to income taxes or stg. and shes fuming. claims tt dad is acting blur and shrugged it off blah blah blah. the rest is unimportant. wat i am going to do is to read watever she has. and find out whatever info fr my dad.

i am so tired reading all those documents. i hope i get a job that doesnt require me to read but requires me to do! haha. not tought o find lah. sell coke bottles in Bali loh.

i realised that we r all pond frogs again. i mean as greenhhorns fresh fr grad, i think many would jump at the chance to do whatever job that pays them 5000? when i see the 'world', i realise tt there are so many out there who are earning bucks that are unimaginable to us! those are the people whom we see in those movies going to french restaurents eating vois gras or stg like tt. sounds like viagra to me! and we are all whacking so hard for this 3000 a mth job. not recognising our family, not having time for frens brother blah blah blah. the things that i see are really eye openers man!