sick
all of a sudden. it just came like that. and ever felt the feeling that the whole world could come down on you just like that. and that life can be so frail, that one day you could be planning way months ahead, but without your health, forget about planning for the next day. by this argument should we just plan by the day? probably not.
falling ill badly really sucks. it really does. you dont know how to count your sleeping hours anymore because even if you are lying on bed, you just feel that you're working more than you are resting... i was on bed since like 10pm last night, and i finally got up at like 3 pm today for about 2 hours and i went back to sleep shortly after. and i wake up again, as if the whole world i have now is confined to this little room where i could only get out to the toilet to relief myself, to the kitchen to fix myself some hot drink and so on.
this is what i call satan's haunting. i used to have this feeling when i was young. i clearly remember it because i still sometimes feel it now. especially when i am incapacitated by something liek this. when i was young, there was once when i remember i got quite a bad jetlag from a trip to the US or something. and i came back to singapore not being able to sleep. and i started thinking about where people'd go when they die. and i started to feel really scared.. i even remember asking my mum that question and she couldnt really answer it. haha.
today seems like this.
after sort of preparing myself to like see so much of europe this period, sometimes i wonder: travelling is definitely not about clocking mileage. neither is it to make you feel good when your friends go 'wow, you've been to so many places'. anyways, that aside. i have this perpetual feeling that there is like a lot of things waiting for me to do.. especially like these 2 days of stoppage has disallowed me to like continue with things i am supposed to do..
falling ill badly really sucks. it really does. you dont know how to count your sleeping hours anymore because even if you are lying on bed, you just feel that you're working more than you are resting... i was on bed since like 10pm last night, and i finally got up at like 3 pm today for about 2 hours and i went back to sleep shortly after. and i wake up again, as if the whole world i have now is confined to this little room where i could only get out to the toilet to relief myself, to the kitchen to fix myself some hot drink and so on.
this is what i call satan's haunting. i used to have this feeling when i was young. i clearly remember it because i still sometimes feel it now. especially when i am incapacitated by something liek this. when i was young, there was once when i remember i got quite a bad jetlag from a trip to the US or something. and i came back to singapore not being able to sleep. and i started thinking about where people'd go when they die. and i started to feel really scared.. i even remember asking my mum that question and she couldnt really answer it. haha.
today seems like this.
after sort of preparing myself to like see so much of europe this period, sometimes i wonder: travelling is definitely not about clocking mileage. neither is it to make you feel good when your friends go 'wow, you've been to so many places'. anyways, that aside. i have this perpetual feeling that there is like a lot of things waiting for me to do.. especially like these 2 days of stoppage has disallowed me to like continue with things i am supposed to do..
posted by penicilin at 9:08 AM
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