AFA test

crunch time crunch time. its minutes away from a major test. seems major at least. i think for many of this term i am going to be grappling with this huge feeling of being a minor in class, of not having done my readings and therefore being sped past by the F1 like speed of how things are going on in class, yet still cope with this sense of self worth(lessness) to know that all is fine. this is the feeling of knowing that you are slowly deteriorating in school and school definitely is not the best place for you to be anymore. you feel placed behind by society so much that its time to leave this pond. you hope in your heart that there are other places where you can seemngly perform, thus finding back your self worth by feeling important in an organisation and being amongst the top performers in that league. but what league are we talking about? if you do not compete with the best is it any worth competing? i think so i guess.

the spirit of the games are such that.

grappling with so many things in life has cast a spell on me to be indifferent. to many things in fact. can we really lead life in this way? by having seasons of being busy and stuff and hoping that you will then have the life later to enjoy it back. I suspect it isnt that simple.

someone just told me really recently: since i've always been a strong advocator of good worklife balance, am i having any worklife balance now? i used to be able to justify that it is working for a future cause of being able to find a good job so that i have more choices to eventually get me te worklife balance. but essential the same argument is the one i am using against many for giving their life away. it is just a matter of the time horizon.

have i transitted somewhere? or do i just