Kuala Lumpur..

just came back from a KL trip with a few friends. spent so much time just doing nothing and eating and being laid back. haha. thats the life man, as said by some of us.

one of my close friends just messaged me and got disappointed coz i replied a 'f@#ked up' reply as mentioned by her. i guess i am like that with messages and people who really end up talking to me r those who either dun care or those who can tolerate this aspect. i must say they are really patient. the girls in particular. coz guys all functional one lah. task oriented. but girls who carry expectations? .. sorry... really. i am just like that.

KL was super gd. tho we din explore the area in 'cheong' mode as i would normally.. to maximise my time there. i still felt gd in a sense it was really relaxing and getting to know one another better.

came back and immediately went to 'family time' with my church grp, some'd call it cell grp. tonight was an important night coz 3 of our brothers are leaving the tribe to be seeded up into another tribe. well still in the same network, just that in a different cell grp loh. their admirable bold step. salute. one of them my close fren/buddy/brother for so many yrs. yinhuan.

i think sometimes the feeling of emptiness can set in at anytime of the day. i was bathing and i just thought i felt really alone. ha. in the midst of people. always like that.

amazing things happen. met felicia in KL. coincidence. just realise tt she's shooting in KL so i called her to meet up. wow. first time arranging to meet up with someone in a foreign land. an first for me. in the end. guess wat. we were staying in the same hotel literally. just tt her's was the permanent ambassy apartments behind and mine was the hotel in the front. wat the.. how do friends end up like that? as in. a 30 min meet up again? and then a walk back to her apartment, show me photos and bye? i mean. did we even talk? haha. well. i suppose the only thought on my mind was like.. what kind of a girl would want a guy like me? who's ona disappear like 8 mths a yr burying himself in school, who sends shitty sms's who cant commit to calling you every day and well.. not to mention the ever so familiar 'frens are more impt' claims i get from every girl. ha. thank you so very much.

God! i'm sorry. i'm not shouting at You. Y am i always sad? just coz life is tough? its not what. i am touring everywhere like nobody's business. whining? perhaps. but y am i always not happy? people have been giving me positive feedback abt myself. or is it coz i havent been listening to the negative ones?

or have i been listening to sad songs? and then just sink in and sulk at all the shit thats happening. tons of frens to met man. but honestly so i really need to meet all of them anot? i am really screwed at differentiating between whats impt and whats just urgent. hai. for wat?

是不是我可以做得更好？

今天是妈的生日，只在十一点的时候才打电话给她。。。 孝顺儿子吗？咳。。　

仿佛就是在过没有目的的生活。