another dream
weird but not that weird. i could imagine me really being there in that scene.
remember how i always tell people that i am someone who really loves to host people? part of it definitely stems from the fact that my family hosted a lot when i was young. every other time there'd be a dinner somewhere, and all the toasting and all. but that hasnt been te case of course, in recent years. Dad kinda told me he doesnt have that many friends anymore. a lot of those business acquantences are no more there. of course its tough, because my Dad probably has exhausted every favour from friends to help him. and in some sense there is some limit to those goodwill no matter how much you have built over the years isnt it?
this morning the setting was set in a simple teochew restaurent. i'm not sure if its his birthday or something. and there were 2 modest tables of people. and before the dinner started he stood up... in the emo speech kind. and spoke for a min.. he said something like 'its been a long time since i had a chance to treat everyone to a good meal. that is why i want everyone to eat Teochew good food like steamed prawns etc..' and he stopped for a while to kinda take control of tears that were going to come out. and he didnt continue, instead he went on the pour Chilli Sauce onto the little saucers for everyone.
and the dream ended.
this could be real near to my heart, because i could really understand how it all works out. on no matter how poor you are, you still have this desire deep in your heart to host people. and poor people can host in a poor way. there's no problem to that. and for me. it just sucks sometimes on the fact that i have no ability to host a bigger one, because of space constraint of course. but ultimately its a $$ issue. because space could always be rented with money. haha. in the end i approach friends to host someting that i organise. and that seriously sucks. but well.
maebe a big part of that has died in me. kinda resigning to fate. but i feel that being rekindled this semester. probably one of the things to do when i am back is to make that dinner happen for my Dad.
remember how i always tell people that i am someone who really loves to host people? part of it definitely stems from the fact that my family hosted a lot when i was young. every other time there'd be a dinner somewhere, and all the toasting and all. but that hasnt been te case of course, in recent years. Dad kinda told me he doesnt have that many friends anymore. a lot of those business acquantences are no more there. of course its tough, because my Dad probably has exhausted every favour from friends to help him. and in some sense there is some limit to those goodwill no matter how much you have built over the years isnt it?
this morning the setting was set in a simple teochew restaurent. i'm not sure if its his birthday or something. and there were 2 modest tables of people. and before the dinner started he stood up... in the emo speech kind. and spoke for a min.. he said something like 'its been a long time since i had a chance to treat everyone to a good meal. that is why i want everyone to eat Teochew good food like steamed prawns etc..' and he stopped for a while to kinda take control of tears that were going to come out. and he didnt continue, instead he went on the pour Chilli Sauce onto the little saucers for everyone.
and the dream ended.
this could be real near to my heart, because i could really understand how it all works out. on no matter how poor you are, you still have this desire deep in your heart to host people. and poor people can host in a poor way. there's no problem to that. and for me. it just sucks sometimes on the fact that i have no ability to host a bigger one, because of space constraint of course. but ultimately its a $$ issue. because space could always be rented with money. haha. in the end i approach friends to host someting that i organise. and that seriously sucks. but well.
maebe a big part of that has died in me. kinda resigning to fate. but i feel that being rekindled this semester. probably one of the things to do when i am back is to make that dinner happen for my Dad.
posted by penicilin at 1:51 AM
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