darkest hour

as i gathered back to see the reason why it is so difficult at this hour, i realised its because i have been a procrastinator. it gets the coldest just before dawn.. blah blah blah. self help. 90/10 principle.

seems like my day has just begun at 12 midnight, and i am suddenly stunned at the amt more i have to cover, then i realised that i have wasted my day away. not knowing that each assignment could take 5 hours to go thru. just to go thru. not even doing. just reading the qn and reading the answer that follows.

i suddenly feel that i need an exchange now. univeristy all of a sudden feels like army once again. 8 terms of tough studying. similar to OCS service term 1 and 2 then pro term.. yada yada.

and the tough part is that i know i have to impose on people to psyche me up.. keep me going. blah blah.

sure university should be the best time of your life because it is one the few moments of your life when you know what you wana do and actually have the extended free time to do it during the vacations. yes! i think that is the main value of university now. 4 mths of doing just exactly what you wana do. no need to think about anything. so it'd be real sad if we are rushing to fill up our holidays with things that are "good to have" like a banking internship, a summer school programme in a great university abroad.

choices my boy. choices.