dear blog

dear blog,

today i was asleep at the couch listening to busy people talking about work and stuff. and i know for sure i wasnt asleep, yet i refused to get up. as if living in denial that i am asleep and i do not need to be like them. times like this, i really feel insignificant. in the midst of looking at my peers find their footing in school, i struggle to find mine. i am like neither here nor there and i dont know why. seems like i've planned for certain things, but they never seem to happen.

where can i find my significance? i think i obviously know the answer already. we only have one life, and it is so true that we can never try to do everything. we all just have to find our footing. like hunting in the jungle?

walking in the midst of people in school, i slowly feel more and more i am sick of like saying hi to the endless streams of familiar faces in school. i just want to be significant. why is that so? because my father once found his significance? and thus a tiger's son is no pussy cat? or just that all boys have the i wana conquer the world mentality?

this term has exposed me to a number of projects that has worked us late into the night, and it is times like this we find that things are not productive and we are arguing in circles.. i thought my strength lies in being balanced in my views and as such most should see eye to eye with me? or is it the fact that i have assumed that that made me somewhat pretty one sided in my views and not so open any more? what happened to the 'everything' is open for discussion me? i found that i have been less patient lately especially in listening to other people. i am like constantly rushing for time just to sit down the next moment not knowing what to do.