life

this is another episode in which i had the chance to engage in some life talks with my dad. in one of those pretty intimate moments considering his absence in most of my early life. indeed, a very hard earned amount of money to aid in my exchange. made me think, if i'd so easily spend the money that he really paid so much effort to earn. honestly, i'm like wondering, its so easy to spend $100 in zouk this hols season, but do you know what extent my dad would go to earn 100 bucks? he's really damn shen. and yes, i don't normally like to take money from my dad, previously because i din wana feel indebted to him, since i can safely say that for the last 10 yrs of my life, i really havent' received much from him. my other 2 siblings have i guess. but in that sense, the amount tonight is more token and means much more than any other amounts. i know how much it takes him to raise that amount of money. and to see him part with it, not knowing how i'd even use it, means a lot to me. honestly i could really spend it on drinks, on buying things that are not necessary.

and tonight, i said to him once again, ' if you were still rich and in business, you'd not have had time to spend time la kopi with your son tonight.' he'd probably still have been in that race, as he put it himself. and tho i'm not sure if this seems any meaningful to him, i guess it did.

he has been diligently giving Jason an amount of money these months, which again is token, but meaningful. it has created many possibilities for Jason.

again. much appreciated. all i hope is that the family would still find many ways to help each other.