this is too much for me

you know my last one spoke about the dilemma of making life overmeaningful, thereby making it too eventful and each one comes to an end and it overwhelms you with this sudden gush of emptiness. i came back to copenhagen, and was afraid to do so. i even went out for a short walk but was even more afraid to do so. for my last round of copenhagen signifies my departure from europe and also someone. i couldnt raise my head til the last moment, and i looked at the sky to embrace singapore and hong kong coming into my itenary soon and how much i'd appreciate both of them. i guess i really might be able to look back and feel good when i have the distraction of those. but in the meantime, in my long but short 24 hours here in copenhagen, i am suffering. immense suffering, packing my bag, saying my final goodbye. i locked myself in the room the rest of the day, sleepy but unready to sleep. because lying down in the room just is too much for me to handle. especially when its like just within 4 walls.

ok. its much better now coz my landlady invited me for dinner since she knew i didnt have much to eat, and i sat down for the first time with the danish family.. its funny that i only sat down with them and had this 'host family' feeling on the last day in denmark. :)

now its time to settle admin stuff and pack.. its just hours before i depart now.. and i kinda am spiralling into that depressive mode again...