life of a recluse

'i am someone who has to enjoy balance all along the way one'
'i cant like work very hard for 5 years and think that i will retire after that'.

have i been achieving that balance? amidst all the sch work. i once justified it by saying that its to find a balanced job. but doenst that equate to delayed gratification? and i am literally throwin away this term for a delayed benefit of having a high chance of having a 'gd' job.

comin back. i guess i aint really that busy.

many a times.. this seems like a silent reply to another blog. i guess i need to read and just write. to no one in particular, but i guess i just have to write. i've a fren who maintains blogs from 4 languages. amazing.

more and more i am feeling like i am returnign to an empty room. i struggle to think of such stuff. life is unpredictable for me. i really could uproot myself and move to somewhere 10000 miles away. i really could i guess. this life seems to suddenly lack a sense of meaning. its definitely the void i'm feeling from suddenly being 'unattached'. i was effectively attached just days ago, at least emotionally. i don't know. i pride myself for very effective decision making processes. but in this area, i seem to follow no constant rules.