ambition

my ambition is to be a sex guru. ha. :)

Why did God create pimples?

why did Papz create pimples to make us ugly? i suspect that He din mean to make us ugly, but rather created this 'poison' along with a natural antidote that we do not use todae, at least not at the desirable time.

i suspect that we are all supposed to be beautiful people. simply because God meant for humans to have sex at a younger age than now. i mean think abt it. how can nature/God have meant for us to get married at 28 or 30 and then have only 1 or 2 yrs for ladies to erm.. you know. ladies were meant to and have once upon a time been made to give birth at the earliest age when they are ready. and that is like at the age when they first undergo physical changes? at the age of 14 to 16 i suppose? and read the report below on sex..

did you know that we can determine if a person is sexually active or not by looking at her skin ?
1. Sex is a beauty treatment. Scientific tests have shown that a woman who has sexual relations produces big amounts of estrogen which makes hair shiny and soft.
2. To make love in soft and relaxed way reduces the possibilities of suffering from dermatitis and acne. The sweat produced cleans pores and makes the skin shine.
4. Sex is one of the safest sports. It strengthens and tonifies all body muscles. It is more enjoyabe than doing 20 lapses in the pool. And you don’t need special shoes !
5. Sex is an instantaneous cure against depression. It frees endorphines in the blood flow, creating a state of euphoria and leaves us with a feeling of well-being.
6. The more we make love, the more we have the capacity to do more. A body sexually active releases a higher amount of pheromone. This subtle aroma excites the opposite sex !
7. Sex is the safest tranquiliser in the world. IT IS 10 TIMES MORE EFFICIENT THAN VALIUM.
8. To kiss everyday allows to avoid the dentist. Kisses aid saliva in cleaning teeths and lower the quantity of acids causing enamel weakening.
9. Sex relieves headaches. Each time we make love, it releases the tension in brain veins.

ok. less the pictures that came with this email.haha. its one of those email that says "send to 5 people or more or you won't have gd sex ever in your life" ha!! and they claim that you cannot keep this thing in your mailbox for more than 96 hours. hm.. seems like its been in mine for 10 months or so. oh no i am cursed with lousy sex life.

oh coming back: so you can see. i think God meant for us to have sex at around the age when we have pimples. so that we'd have sex and not acne. so that we could differentiate people who were sexually active and people who were not. but who the hell is not sexually active in those stone age anyway? i tot is like male see female, hormones boil then settle liao. hm.. i wonder. hahaha.

i actually feel lonely todae.

i guess its not loneliness. its just the feeling of "nothingness" as one of my infamous classmate have mentioned todae. i am so used to running here and there for things. but now it seems i momentararily dun have nothing to do. and i am not used to it at all. i do have tons waiting for me to do! just that for a moment i just dont know wat to do. i'm like 'stranded' in nothingness now. waiting for God knows what in this rm in school. i should go play guitar. bye!

show you something

dedicate this blog to a long time fren.

view of a 1 eye 'jian'

me

this is me: ultimate utilitarian, satisfaction maximiser.

utilitarianism, satisfaction maximising:

coming home on an empty stomach, realising that there are 2 leftover da pao dishes ard. 1 is 2 pieces of curry chicken and potato that looks like contents of the NTUC fairprice curry chicken. another one that has 1 piece of chicken thigh in seemingly ginseng soup. (maybe i should come up with a dish called 'seemingly' ginseng chicken soup). as one who loves curry chicken, i took the extra piece of 'fresh' chicken from the soup and dipped it in curry before i ate it with rice. so that i could have both canned curry chicken and fresh curry chicken. (its so hard to type 'chicken' !!!!!!!) all these at the prenotion that i could enjoy my ginseng chicken soup. but you know how the chicken gets wasted coz its always like tasteless in the soup. wahahahaha.

some days ago.

i'm sitting across a row of seats in 1 of the cabin of the train and observing the other row of commuters sitting directly across me, i observe that all but one of them are sleeping. hee. singaporeans sure are a grp of tired people. either tt or they r so efficient they put part of their sleep during the journey to work to free up more time at home ha. i'm the efficient one. reading a report that i am supposed to prepare for the proj meeting later. awesome. by the time i am done its like lavender. and no time to blog liao. this is all i can manage. haha.

monday morning makes me murrrr, making munchy muffins misleads my mummy's mundane, maybe meaningful misinterpretations

speak english please. not martian.

1 presentation down for todae. 1 more to go. awesome. i was "speaking" to the crowd. i bet a 60 yr old ah ma could understand me. coz i din speak martian.

吊起来卖。

literal: being hung by a hook like a slaughtered animal, standing in front of the class to be 'zua'ed by the barrage of questions helplessly during Q & A.

abstract: making it known that one is available for a certain title. for example a gay partner.

pls take a while to examine the kidnap photo.

ever wonder why when u type the word 'good' in sms the word 'home' comes out?

sucky day

back to the good old days of green uniform and muddy face and hard shit.



bad day bad day. nearly dieded. literally.

bro's moving back to grisek. :) what a pouring out the other day.

"i could work my ass off just to have all of us live together." this was what he said.

i told him i am a wild horse. i like to run around the plains. i am a nomadic soul. i like to look at the sky from different places.

so well. now the fellowship is complete. short of me. so i feel even more left out? i guess not. i feel so happy for him tt he could go build relationships with mummy and jason all over again. this brother of mine i really love him lah. din ever see that we could share such thoughts unless we are drunk. maybe we were drunk on wanton mee yesterafternoon.

"how could this happen to me?"

i'm waiting here for someone who is late. grr.

to exchange 4 days of happiness for 3 days of intense hell

got back at 6 am this morning from a laid back lifestyle in Ipoh, back to my gadgetty lifestyle: plugged on to my "iso" earphones, blogging on the train, blah blah. i feel recharged like a lithium battery. i can last another term. and none of lifespan was reduced as a result of charging too many times. havnt been taking the train for a while now. appreciating the budgetted mode of transport all over again.

there are pple who sae hi to mi in sch and go "why are you so happy" every now and then in sch. coz i smile to myself every now n then? or pple r not used to seeing happy pple? i wonder. perhaps we r expected to be unhapp in uni. oh my, there sure are many preetty girls nowadaes on the train. or is it as always, when i return fr somewhere less "littered"?
qn:wat can beat a morning with gd music and an excellent avenue of unloading thoughts?
mcdonald's breakfast!!!!!

i hope i can still take impromptu 4 daes off when i am working. all of my peers graduatin seem to speak with a sense of pessimism. like "enjoy while you can....", "sch days are the best daes of your life", i wonder how they know it when they havnt even start working. but its true tho tt i've not heard anyone who absolutely proclaim tt they love their jobs except for insurance agents. haha. they sae they like to talk to pple, share with people a gd life pdt etc.

came across this damn gross picture on the internet. my God. pls dun speculate. this is by no means representative of my recent trip. hahahahhahahahah

before i forget

yes. i know i should totally take cover from tech and live the 'simple life' here in ipoh like how paris hilton and nicole richie did right? i'm def paris hilton and yinhuan the anaraexic (wrong spelling!!) nicole. his mum says so.

we woke up at like 630 this morning to go climb a mountain. yes and 'we' means the whole family, including his mummy and daddy! and thats the kind of things we do here in ipoh. uncle and auntie are happening people i must say. they hold hands to cross the road 1!!! i wana hold my dear's hands when i cross the road when i am 60. i wana climb mountains with her (hoppefully a her huh. not yin huan!! if you know what happens when 2 guys and only 2 guys climb a mountain together). at the age of 60. on the way up we saw many interresting things and these are my findings:

• i suspect the modern 'beep test' that the army and soccer club uses was inspired by the 'taichi' people who have tapers played when they do their exercise routine. hahahahah
• we met this uncle whom auntie claims that 4 out of his 5 children eventually became doctors. he's practising this pugilistic stance which we call "lion's roar" where he would intervally shout out to passer bys as if he was like welcoming visitors like one of the 2 stone lions outside those chinese offices? think of stephen chow's kungfu hustle and you could picture the lady whose husband helps her hold the bell with a hole in it to amplify her "lion's roar" !!!! *falls down the chair laughin*
• morning at the mountain is real happening man. we've got this guy with styrofoam boxes selling fresh fish to i dont know who. we've got a grp of 40 or so people whose age ranges btw 25 to 60? doing like synchronised exercises that looks a little like the Great Singapore workout we had years back? they've even got the shake your bom bom action boi, ooh hoo.

starr(d)y, starr(d)y night....

tonight is MAF, can't see the moon. blame who? even if there weren't the free smoke for all our tobacco friends right, i'd still not have the chance at seeing the moon lah.

some days the security guard in smu is real frenly, sometimes they just step on your tail. i wonder if there's any corelation with either the haze or the moon.

been frequenting people's blogs lately. not something i'd usually do. really amazed at how some could really express themselves in words but seem rather quiet in real life. i think the blog opens their world up in another dimension.

sitting in the tranquility of an air con rm in smu, sheltered from the haze outside, i just couldnt get why i just cant put myself to study. my kind of studying seems so painful because i simply cannot whack the whole night.

dodgy blog

someone once told me tt my blog should sound less dodgy, mysterious. i was just telling that i have like encoded messages to different people who read my blogs.

spill the beans.

"enjoy your new phone, your new soul mate and your new life ahead," someone once said.