wow. on the train with uniform clad students. cept that they're going to school but i'm going home from a long night of studying in school haha.
i walked out of school in the dimly lit morning light.. feels like going for morning classes in sec sch or primary school. one of those mornigns where i go to class earlier than usual. usually its like the first day of school where there is still quite some excitement about school. of course after that it dies down and its all downhill from there haha.
anyway, the gist of saying this is: as i was rushing towards the green light that only lights for a brisk moment of 26 seconds or so, with my bag and doing a brisk march with that, it reminded my of a time when i had to run extensively with a bag. during army. and it reminded me of my ranger course. a look into the sky reminded me of how i used to just look at the sky and wonder why i was doing wat i was doing in those times. and i guess i've never been as close to the sky as then, as close to a higher being beyond our comprehension. but i just spoke extensively to Him. maybe true enough, there was a Need for Him. maybe its just that i was closer to Nature. closer to the world as it was intended to be. rather than the many other synthetically created wants/needs/ stuff that we deal with everyday in our lives. i dont need to name them do i?
and well, i remember those skies. probably those times latest into the nights, when you are able to see the clearest skies. and of course without the light pollution in the city, which allows you to really see. its such a revelation that less light lets you see so much more.
its such a joy typing away now. but its nearing my station already. the half an hour journey suddenly become so short. perhaps i can blog my way through in japan.
probably ties in with my recent facination with oldies, or maybe songs that we used to hear a lot. haha.
i miss those schooling days. boy oh boy. i think i will miss SMU.
i think life is just this accumulation of experiences. yes. duh. everyone knows that. but i think its more than that. its the moment when you look back and reminisce about it that makes it so valuable. this is the way it should be. this is the way it should be.
that we feel this bitter sweet that we once experienced it. but find that its hard to experience it again. its this bitter sweet that defines life to me. you know the feeling of liking a song and not remembering it, but when it comes back somehow and you hear it again, and find it and sorta try to capture it by keeping it in your itunes or something. its that feeling. or perhaps even more accurately, when you hear your once favourite tune on the radio. and just enjoy that moment. knowing that you cant really capture it somewhere. knowing it will end. but just enjoying everymoment of it while its still playing. that's life i think.
today i was walking back home from the train station, and listening to the right songs, walking with the right mood just allowed you to experience and observe things that you just whiz by everyday. out of the train door, i trodded down the stairs, walked in between people. there there was, a little TV screen that was showing trailers of a new chick flick called 17 once more or something. and i just thought: created media like this essentially means nothing dont they? but then again, a great movie like Forest Gump to me, could have an impact that could be unfathomable. and so i stopped briefly to think about movies. as i was doing so, there were already hords of school children walking towards a nearby sec sch with their same coloured uniform. along the way, with the company of my music, i looked up at the building of the shopping mall and it stood serene, with the morning birds flying past. i immediately thought: i should pen this down before i forget it man! and then i thought: i could whip out a pen and paper, and start writing away. but that would compromise on the experience isnt it? i could attempt to remember the experience, but whatever i write here definitely cant do justice to that moment i was trying to describe isnt it? i could pen down every single moment of my life, but if i spend my life penning down my experiences, my experiences would only consist of those moments in that study room isnt it? i go for the experience. in a way selfish that i am keeping it all to myself and not passing down any form of written legacy to the 'next' generation. not that anyone would really wana read these crap in the first place.
i walked by and suddenly the smell of freshly baked bread come into my nose and it felt good, tho shortlived. it was a morning that i hadnt experienced for a long while as a uni student.
as i was walking home, the song that fitted nicely into that surrounding experience came to an end. i hurriedly scurried for another song that could at least be of close substitute. but by then, it was gone. now isnt this life?
there's so much that i could write.
