日本語で第一回のブログ

これが僕の日本語で第一回のブログだ。こんなことは始めないといつもはじめないと思う。今日は一日中家にいったのです。ご飯の時間だけ廊下のコーヒーショップに行った。ぞれも独りで、大変寂しかった。　はい。　以上です。

那一段偶像剧的青春期

endless rain

it rained this afternoon, in the backdrop of a day that started really early for me, with many things piling right in front of me. sure there were a number of excitements, for example an event that reminded me that i was going to japan very soon, but still with all the things in my mind. i cant seem to decide on even which to devote my attention to first.

the rain continued while i layed on somewhere, to catch some sleep. sometimes i wonder, its really psychological aint it? that since u know that you slept very little, and thus are just lethargic to do stuff and thus sleep. more than a few times, my body have proved to me just how strong it is in combating physical tiredness, and obviously i am unimpressed by the workrate it is at now. i love my body. its amazing. the sheer fact that everything, EVERYTHING is working almost 99% of the time. your heart has to technically work at full capacity rate til you die. any sophisticated machine that has that utility?

check out pounding that you subject your ass on by sitting on it for the number of hours a day.

i wonder why i felt so out of place when we had a group of students who were going to japan, gather at SMU for this pre departure orientation.

kinda diverse group. but i just felt, weird. am i that different from everyone? why like tt ah ?

nevertheless.

was talking to someone about 'what's your core competency'? i sorta could articulate it very well. but to be honest. its soounds fluffier than any of my SMU presentations made. and i'm so comfortable with tt. ha.

what am i good in?

rain stopped long time ago. its way past appropriate time to be productive now.

i miss abilities of old times when i am more observant

I have a hypothesis: that we are innately more observant when we are young. but we verbalise better as we grow older. thus the tipping point of expression occurs when we are still obervant enough and are able to verbalise what we observe well, which probably happens somewhere when we are in our young adult days. makes it more conducive too if it happens during a time when we are very free, eg after a breakup, a long holiday after school before work etc.

let me attempt:

ok i give up. i was in the train this morning, too tired to whip out any readings labelled fixed income to read on the train, too bored with the music in my iPod to really listen to them. and so i decided to observe people. of course there are people that you don't need a conscious effort to 'observe', but today i decided was going to observe the everyday kind of person. :)

and i told myself i was going to blog about my findings this mornign and feel rejuvenated as an 'observant', young and inquisitive boy all over again.. and i remembered that i remembered to blog about them. but i dont quite remember the contents of it.. sad.

mrt bloggin is only fun when u can sit down and open your laptop and blog on the spot. thats why its called blogspot!!! wow revelation of the day. if u try to remember abt what to blog, doesnt happen. sorry, doesnt work that way.

australia

At some point of time I got so excited to blog about my thoughts at the spur of the moment… but blogger just wont work. Everything else worked but this bloody @#$%^&* website. I don’t know why. And I had so much excitement in me, but it faded.

I was going to say that sometimes its not about the song itself but the timing at which you first heard the song that would frame your mind about the experiences associated with that song. And this song that I just heard just reminded me about my time in Australia. It was the summer of 2003 and it was just months before I was going into the army. And I had some free time and so I decided that I was going down under to look for my bro. And this song was playing I don’t know from where. Probably on my very limited MP3 player that could probably hold like 40 songs or something. And I kept playing it coz I liked it a lot. Obviously a guy like me who proclaims that I tend to like songs performed by guys more since it mostly wrote about ‘man’ stuff. So liking Christina Aguilera’s ‘Beautiful’ was something of a rare event. But still it clinged onto my mind like any other songs that would have been termed as classics to me.

And so begins the framing of the whole experience. ‘Beautiful’ to me means a time of being carefree. A time of really starting to interact with people on the ‘adult’ level since bro’s frens were all his uni frens. It also meant to me a time when I was away from Singapore. It was almost the first time I travelled on my own on the airplane. And I totally enjoyed the anticipation of not knowing who you’d sit with on the plane etc. I ended up drinking with an Aussie lad on the way back to SG.

The song reminded me of a time when I was free but had a fictitious someone back in SG. The feeling of meeting back that someone and not knowing if she’d still be there for me when I am back kinda appealed. but honestly I cant remember much about the specifics of those ‘love’ moments. I remembered more the carefree and chill times I had in Aussie than anything else. Like going to this café in Brisbane that was called Little Paris and had was like a mini Eiffel Tower in the middle of the city, drinking what would be my first ‘sophisticated’ cocktails with sophisticated names. And of course the fish and chips and the numerous visits to the those china town cafes for Chinese students in what they would term as ‘Cha Can Teng’, or probably just a term in the group since Bro’s girl was a Hongkie back then. And of course tasting the cookings of my bro, with some noodles and beef balls kind of thing going on. This is kinda my first idea of what it would be like if you were to 出国留学，in the words of my mother. Ahah. And of course I guess its these anticipations that I bring with me to Denmark I guess. Of course I demanded more.